just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
