i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
