I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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