Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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