How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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