For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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