found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
