Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
