I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
