I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
