we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
