ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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