I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
