Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
