she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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