I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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