you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
