did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
