So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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