Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
