How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
