that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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