erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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