I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He? As in you personified your dick?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize