The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
