Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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