now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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