She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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