I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
