ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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