your thong is hanging out like whoa
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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