dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just cropdusted the office
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
