It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
