so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
