you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
