Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
