never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
