Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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