Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
