Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
