Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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