after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
They took my balls.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
