just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
