I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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