it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i drank out of a bidet.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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