im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
