my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
