we're blogging at a bar
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
