we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
