i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
