So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize