Will you blow on my dice?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My life is pants optional.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
