I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
