I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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