No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
