Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
